The Confidence Con: Unmasking Imposter Syndrome

I was on Instagram Reels as usual, and I came across a video where a guy is interviewing a psychologist. He was telling the psychologist that there is a part of him that always feels like he is manipulating somebody, "even when he is doing something nice." The psychologist replied and said that it is called Imposter Syndrome, and it has to do with the fact that you couldn't be real as a kid and, in some ways, had to pretend. This sparked my interest, as I have always heard people referencing Imposter Syndrome, but honestly, I just inferred the meaning from the name and thought it was when a person feels like an imposter, which is kind of true. So let's unpack this:

What is Imposter Syndrome?

According to WebMD, Imposter syndrome is when you doubt your own skills and successes. You feel you're not as talented or worthy as others believe, and you're scared that one day, people will realize that. This definition reminds me of people pleasers in a way where they want to be liked but they have an idea that people view them on this high pedestal so you have this need to meet that expectation that your friends and family have of you. Therefore when you do things that deserve reward you think that you haven't achieved enough to receive anything and that's where the belief that you are a fake comes in, a sense of inadequacy.

Where does it come from?

Personality. People who are highly neurotic—meaning easily upset or prone to anxiety—are more likely to experience imposter syndrome as well as perfectionists

Upbringing and parenting style. A person’s early relationship with their parents can play a role in the development of impostorism. For example, if your parents were overprotective or controlling, or when a family puts a high priority on achievement or when parents are inconsistent in how they criticize or praise their children.

Being different from peers. Being different from peers might increase your susceptibility to imposter feelings. For instance, in the workplace or classroom, you might differ from those around you in terms of ethnicity, race, gender, age, or socioeconomic status. Due to this

Social media. Many studies indicate that social media can affect your confidence and self-esteem. It’s easy to judge yourself harshly when you’re looking at a “highlight reel” of your peers’ adventures, successes, and achievements.

All of these causes have one thing in common, I realize: they’re all tied to external validation — the constant need to prove yourself to other people, impress, or be the person everyone thinks you are. And honestly, that’s the real trap. When you live trying to earn approval, from parents, teachers, followers, or friends, it becomes hard to know if you are being yourself or still trying to pretend. You end up chasing applause and recognition instead of confidence. And you do things only to try to keep up an image that you can't maintain. That’s where imposter syndrome seeps in. You might be smart, talented, or kind but somehow you still feel like you’re faking it or performing. Not because you’re lying at a certain moment, but because you’ve gotten so used to performing.

My advice is don't let your self-worth be tied to how people view you. We think we have to earn our worth but guess what it is already yours and your achievements and kindness don’t have to be perfect to be real. It is real because it's not perfect, the imperfections make it real. You don’t need to keep performing to belong, you belong just the way you are.

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"Perfection is an illusion

Authenticity is freedom"

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Thank you for reading, my sources are below if you want to continue to read on the topic:

How to fight Imposter Syndrome for Teens. (n.d.). The Teen Magazine. https://www.theteenmagazine.com/how-to-fight-imposter-syndrome-for-teens

Reid, S. (2025, January 16). Imposter syndrome: causes, types, and coping tips. HelpGuide.org. https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/wellbeing/imposter-syndrome-causes-types-and-coping-tips

What is Imposter syndrome? (n.d.). WebMD. https://www.webmd.com/balance/what-is-imposter-syndrome